Lol, if only everyone can take their pains like this. I mean this is a real story but he still found humour in it. So nice… Please read;
Me I had sworn that no matter how badly treated I was by a Nigerian Airline I won't say anything. I will just be quiet and watch them disgrace themselves. So for years, I have been very silent with the rubbish they have been meting out on not only me but millions of Nigerians who unfortunately have to use them. From delayed flights, to outright cancellation.
From bumpy rides in rickety planes that have seen me peeing on myself and screaming Jesusssssssss, to smelly air hostess with dirty armpits who behave as if they are the best things since slice bread , in all these I have kept my peace and not said anything. I did not even talk when the whole Arik crew descended on my friend the Amiable Abubakar Tafawa Balewa and beat him silly simply because he asked why his seat was given out, I didn't whimper o.
Maybe that is why, today they brought the fight to me. Me,Ajanaku, the Elephant, Aero people try me today. It all started when I got a text last night as usual postponing my morning flight in Abuja from 8.45am to 11.00am. The fact that I had an 11.0clock appointment that I had been chasing for years did not make me talk, the fact that the client had flown in from America and would be early for the meeting after flying for over 13 hours and me who had just 55minutes to fly would be late did not make me talk. So I took it all in my stride and slept off.
In the morning, I took my time and jumped into traffic and the usual Lagos traffic killed me. I arrived at their counter at exactly 10.30 for the flight and one very dirty Aero staff screamed at me with spittle gushing out of her mouth like a volcano erupting and throwing ash everywhere, ' we have closed the counter' she screamed turning her back and showing me a split in her skirts. I smiled believing that this is NIGERIA and this is Ajanaku that I will surmount this challenge. I called out at her and in my smoothest Don Jazzy voice, I pleaded for help. She was livid, looked at me sternly and asked if I did not understand English, that it was over and gleefully told me that the next flight was for 5 o'clock in the evening.
At this time, my cool evaporated and I started begging. I pleaded as if my life depended on it and at this point about 6 of their lowliest paid staff, all with different kinds of body stench descended on me and telling me categorically that I had to leave and come back by 5pm. I begged and begged and begged all to no avail. I even told them that we all voted APC and that the change had come that they should please temper Justice with mercy. This served to only anger them the more as they immediately started mocking me and laughing at me. Guys, the most painful thing in all these, was the fact that they were still checking in other passengers o. Those with huge and plenty luggages where being given VIP treatment while me in all my Gucci Shoes and trousers was left stranded and being advised to either go to another airline the or should start trekking like all these people trekking for Buhari.
At this point someone in authority strolled in and decided to assist and then I knew what my sin was. He asked them to open the system to see if there was more seats, he stared at the system like the tyrant he was, with the power of life and death. He sent a signal to the Pilot, not to dare move that plane until he decided what to do and after staring at the system for what seemed like an eternity gave judgement, I should be upgraded to first class. I thanked him and prayed that God should bless his mistress and that his wife will never catch him, but as he was walking away, his leprous colleagues called him back and told him that I had complained about being delayed for four hours on my last trip and as such I did not see any reason why I could not board after just being late for 30 minutes.
My people, Emperor turned with all the dignity he could muster and gave instant judgement, no more seats and that was final. I stood there looking like a class clown. I could not believe this was happening to me. The circus midgets all immediately burst into imbecilic laughter and stuck out their tongues at me.
Out of frustration, I left them and went to the medview counter, where the Angels there gave me a seat on their 12 noon flight. I thanked them and paid but decided to go back to Aero counter to vent. My people, I for Kuku just go my way o. Na police dey wait for me o. The goons had called Police for me and you know police, na who first report na him get case. The bleached police man demanded for my phone and asked to go through my picture gallery that I had taken pictures of the Aero staff.
That's how the man went through my phone, enjoyed himself with all the - you know the kind picture that will be there na- took his time and decided which ones he will delete and which ones he will keep and in all these the minions where still laughing and still checked people into a flight they had said was full an hour ago.
I thank God for the NCAA people who came to my assistance. Took me to their office took my complaints and calmed me down. They said they had been receiving series of complaints from harassed and humiliated passengers and will certainly do something this time.
So my people, Aero used to be my favorite airline, but with this kind of harassment and being treated like a thief I have left them and taken my wahala somewherelse. You can be sure, I will not miss their shitty service, I will not miss their cheap onboard flight, I will not miss the unpredictability of their services, I I'll not miss their rickety planes, I will not miss having to 'settle' their poorly paid and under trained staff and I will certainly won't have to kneel down and beg to be boarded simply because I mistakenly mentioned that if they could delay me for four hours, they should be a little bit more tolerant with my 30minute lateness, even though the flight was still on ground and checking in was still ongoing.
As I write, I am headed to the Airport with my heart in my mouth. One of the goons had threatened to cancel my return ticket and that I will never fly Aero. I asked him if his father was Ibru that he should try it. My people maybe I should join the Trekkers.
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